Siesta time

Manny: I'm thinking about closing my door for a nap.
Sheba Joyce: Do it.
Sheba Joyce: I'm thinking of buy a napping mat.
Manny: Naps should be required.
Manny: I mean honestly.
Sheba Joyce: Every other country does it.
Sheba Joyce: Work would be far more productive.
Manny: I agree.
Manny: Like right now, I'm dead to the world.
Manny: I can't concentrate.
(20 minutes later)
Manny: Are you sleeping?
Sheba Joyce: No.
(20 minutes later)
Sheba Joyce: Are you sleeping?
Manny: I'm trying to sleep with my eyes open.

Drawing conclusions

Manny: So I hung out in my pool on Saturday for like 4 hours.
Sheba Joyce: Awesome
Sheba Joyce: Tanning?
Manny: Yeah. I got a little burnt..but it was nice just to do that and read a book and relax.
Sheba Joyce: I wish I had a pol.
Sheba Joyce: Pool...
Sheba Joyce: I do not want a pol.
Sheba Joyce: Like Pol Pot
Sheba Joyce: Eww..
Manny: Yeah, that would be no good.
Manny: But a pool--very good
Manny: So in conclusion: Pol Pot = not good. Pool = fun and relaxing
Sheba Joyce: Your summarizing skills are amazing.

BFFs

Sheba Joyce: So pretty--your cartoon flower.
Manny: I think it's your cartoon YOU that makes it pretty, not the flower.
Sheba Joyce: Why all the buttering me up?
Manny: I'm just being nice.
Sheba Joyce: Uh huh.
Manny: I'll stop being nice if you'd rather.
Sheba Joyce: Yes, I would actually.

For Libertine

Sheba Joyce: LQTM has been updated.
Libertine: I was all excited like "maybe I finally was considered funny."
Libertine: "Maybe she likes me... she really likes me."
Libertine: and no...
Libertine: I've seen the LQTM update already my hopes and dreams have been
stomped on.
Sheba Joyce: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you wish your biggest problem was too much money?

Manny: Britney is in rehab.
Sheba Joyce: Oh well.
Sheba Joyce: What kind of rehab?
Manny: Didn't say. Undisclosed.
Sheba Joyce: Is it the I'm-screwed-up-because-I-can't-spend-my-$29843294528549084-fast enough-therefore-I'll-spend-it-on-rehab rehab?
Manny: In LA this time rather than Antigua.
Manny: Sometimes I wish that I had a problem so I could go to rehab in Antigua...I'd never check out.
Sheba Joyce: You let me be britney spears for one day.

She's got spirit, yes she does

Sheba Joyce: I need to purchase a foam finger.
Manny: That's an odd request.
Sheba Joyce: Isn't it?
Sheba Joyce: I told them that S and I would have them at the next soccer game.
Sheba Joyce: Found one!
Sheba Joyce: foamhands.com
Sheba Joyce: This one says... "Our classic foam #1 cheering has a slit for your hand to go in like a glove."
Sheba Joyce: Well...Thank God for the slit. I mean should they have to advertise that?
Sheba Joyce: Without it being glove like, it's just a foam sign.

Would you like some wine with that wine?

Manny: My favorite on the food channel is Sandra Lee. She has that show, Semi Homemade, which is like...make your mac and cheese like you usually do and melt shredded cheese in it and that counts as a homemade dish.
Manny: And she makes cocktails with everything so she's like this alcoholic cook.
Sheba Joyce: Oh alcoholic cook is always good.
Sheba Joyce: That should be our show...
Manny: like drink while we're cooking.
Manny: Do the cocktail first,
Sheba Joyce: and get drunk,
Sheba Joyce:and never finish.
Sheba Joyce: And then you just have slop.
Manny: Yeah, and then just have chicken tenders from the freezer, drizzle buffalo sauce on them, have at it.
Sheba Joyce: or give up and go to a fast food restaurant.
Manny: Totally us.
Sheba Joyce: Totally.
Manny: The last step could be: "and then let's just throw this in the trash and go out, it's completely inedible."
Manny: "This is a terrible idea, we should just stick to the drinking."

What the Cool Kids Are Wearing

Sheba Joyce: I'm wearing my watch.
Sheba Joyce: I feel so special.
Sheba Joyce: At the same time I have a tacky old brown sweater on.
Manny: So, you're like Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, then.
Manny: That is their look.
Sheba Joyce: Yes...
Sheba Joyce: bling
Sheba Joyce: and baggy sweaters.
Sheba Joyce: I need tights and flats though.
Manny: and Marlboro Reds.
Manny: and an eating disorder.
Manny: and you'll be set.

I bet Billy Ray Cyrus LOVES Pearl Jam

Sheba Joyce: So last Monday…
Sheba Joyce: my parking lot was full of what I thought were redneck country fans,
Sheba Joyce: tailgating for a concert.
Sheba Joyce: So I go online to see who was performing --
Sheba Joyce: Pearl Jam.
Sheba Joyce: Crowd did not match the talent.
Manny: Yeah, I’d say.
Sheba Joyce: I mean--NASCAR wear,
Sheba Joyce: beer,
Sheba Joyce: ciggies,
Manny: mulletts?
Sheba Joyce: Tents.
Sheba Joyce: Yes, mullets.
Manny: Foam fingers?
Manny: Lighters to hold up at the end?
Manny:Who knew hillbillies loved Pearl Jam?
Sheba Joyce: Who knew?
Sheba Joyce:: Maybe they thought it was something else…
Sheba Joyce: like an actual "pearl jam".
Sheba Joyce: Like they thought jam was involved.
Manny: I bet you're right.
Sheba Joyce: or it was like those car crash things.
Manny: Monster truck rally?
Sheba Joyce: They thought cars would be rolling over each other.
Sheba Joyce: Yes!
Sheba Joyce:Yes..they thought it was monster jam.
Manny: Maybe women wrestling in jam, which is the opening act for monster truck rally?
Sheba Joyce: Oh I’m sure that was it.
Sheba Joyce: So when they got in they were totally disappointed.
Manny: "Who are these a-holes???"
Sheba Joyce: “What is this horrendous sound?”
Manny: "What's this junk, and where are the women???"
Sheba Joyce: “WHERE ARE THE BANJOS???”

It's Not the Heat, It's the Humidity

Sheba Joyce: It is too hot here.
Manny: What is the temp?
Sheba Joyce:1000000000000000000000000 F
Manny: That's hot.

Crepes? Aren't Those Just Thin Pancakes?

Sheba Joyce: I asked this girl why she was interested.
Sheba Joyce: She said...
Sheba Joyce: "I like international stuff."
Manny: Stuff.
Manny: Like pancakes? International pancakes? Crepes and such?
Manny: 'Cause that's what I think of when I hear "international stuff".
Sheba Joyce: "I like Chinese food."
Manny: "I like corona...does that count?"
Sheba Joyce: Oh yes, you like Corona—HIRED.

Corporate Speak

Sheba Joyce: I talked about my "thirst for more involvement in office procedure and policy".

Sheba Joyce: Yes I said "thirst".

Manny: Wow.

Sheba Joyce: ...and that I wanted a bigger role.

Manny: Where did that come from?

Sheba Joyce: I know--it was a good one.

Sheba Joyce: You can use it in the future.

Manny: I think I will.

Manny: Consider it added to my "corporate word" word bank.

Living an Exciting Life

Sheba Joyce: I have a dilemma.

Manny: Tell me...

Sheba Joyce: I got a new calendar--for free from someone

Sheba Joyce: like a file-a-fax

Sheba Joyce: and i want to use it

Sheba Joyce: but i feel bad for throwing out the old one.

Manny: well why do you feel bad about that?

Manny: use the newbie

Sheba Joyce: Because the old one isn't finished yet.

Sheba Joyce: He hasn't completed his mission

Manny: Hmm, that is a dilemma.

Manny: Keep using him...that's what I'd do.

Manny: I'd feel guilty.

Sheba Joyce: But i cant' let the new fancy one go to waste.

Manny: Do you have lots of things going on? Use them both maybe.

Manny: Or give the old one away to someone in need.

Sheba Joyce: Nah---I'll keep them both around

Manny: Use one for business and one for social.

Sheba Joyce: Sadly...

Sheba Joyce: social is limited so much so that a planner is not needed.

Manny: I hear you sister

Manny: "change into PJs"

Sheba Joyce: "put in dvds"

Manny: "go to bed"

Manny: "eat dinner - pizza"

Manny: (would be before movie, but after PJs)

Brief history of little LQTMs to start this thing off!

Manny: Tupperware might be alright...I could be the Tupperware lady
Sheba Joyce:...or the sex toy lady.


Sheba Joyce:TRDMF
Sheba Joyce:"Tears running down my face".


D-Dawg: They realized i was trying to Simpsonize my husband and not working....
D-Dawg: so not only did my sister cancel on me but she has now asked me to medicate her cat 2 times a day while she gone.
D-Dawg: not a pain in HASS* at all

* HASS -- Slang for Ass

Sheba Joyce: She's a loswer.
Sheba Joyce: Yes a loswer.
Manny: Even worse than loser--loswer.

Manny: Who would like to sign on as Director of Iraq?
Sheba Joyce:I would not.
Sheba Joyce: No thank you.

Manny: He sounds like a cock.
Sheba Joyce: He is.
Sheba Joyce: He also makes a measly 28K.
Sheba Joyce: Which makes him a bigger cock.
Sheba Joyce: But you know--he took the job--his fault.
Manny: Well that's the reason he is a cock--because he only makes 28k.
Manny: over compensation.


Manny: I just want to throw this in...remember when we had that party for you at the bar and B got a cake? When you came back?
Sheba Joyce:Yeah, a big ass cake
Sheba Joyce: and i was like "WTFam i supposed to do with that"?
Manny: : Cake and beer.

Ella: Yeah i told her if they started talking shit about her I would leave...after punched all of them in the face
Manny: DO IT! Rumble at Bob Evans!

Sheba Joyce:Now I'm listening to Britney's new song.
Manny: how is it?
Sheba Joyce: Not bad. It's on Perez.
Sheba Joyce:I'd put it on my myspace page.
Sheba Joyce: oh yeah--I'm bobbing my head.
Sheba Joyce: Britney's comeback.
Manny: I hope she does have a comeback
Manny: and blows everyones minds.
Sheba Joyce: Shoulders swaying...
Sheba Joyce:can't move my hips---or they would be
Manny: Going immediately..
Manny: Good song!
Sheba Joyce: I'm saving this convo
Sheba Joyce: because it makes me laugh.
Manny: You should...
Manny: it's almost like we're just sitting in your living room doing jack shit..except we're 6 hours apart...and in separate living rooms!



Sheba Joyce:There is this guy named Travis right beside me who I can't stand *Disclaimer—Travis is Sheba’s friend—He was watching her type*
Sheba Joyce:he keeps reading the screen..
Sheba Joyce: So he shall be the first case on my "what i think is stupid" site.

(then later)

Sheba Joyce:THIS IS BOLOGNA
Manny: No..
Manny: it is...
Manny: Bananas...b-a-n-a-n-a-s
Sheba Joyce: stupid stinky bananas and Travis just made fun of my accent.
Sheba Joyce:I hate him now
Sheba Joyce: he's on the list!
Sheba Joyce: Put him on the list
Manny: I'm going to put him on our document
Sheba Joyce: Do it!


Sheba Joyce: Ok, I see her now.
Sheba Joyce:and I'm totally jealous.
Manny: Why? 'Cause of her awesome sweater?
Sheba Joyce:and her awesome hair...
Sheba Joyce:but most of all, her skates.
Manny: She's pretty fab, huh?
Sheba Joyce: yeah.
Manny: Glad my wee me is cool even if I'm not.