No like faxes

Manny: I hate when I lose important faxes.

Sheba Joyce: I hate when I get faxes.

Manny:I hate faxes period.

Manny: Archaic form of communication.

Manny: We might as well be drawing pictures on cave walls to communicate.

TNHETUTY

Manny: Thank you.

Manny: or "TY" as my mom likes to say.

Sheba Joyce: Did you tell your mom "ynhetuty"

Manny: which means?

Sheba Joyce: "you're not hip enough to use TY"

Manny: She got a cool new phone and now uses web abbreviations or whatever they are called.

Sheba Joyce: I would say webreviations.

This economy gives me a headache

Sheba Joyce: Turkey/Indonesia/Saudi Arabia want the IMF to recognize Islamic Finance. Well HELL!! I want Islamic Finance here too!
Sheba Joyce: It's actually on the G-20 summit agenda
Libertine: At the risk of sounding stupid, what's Islamic Finance?
Sheba Joyce: No interest--it's illegal to charge interest on borrwowed money in Islam
Libertine: OH FUCK YEAH
Long Pause
Libertine: So what happens if you don't pay? Before I get really excited?
Sheba Joyce: Probably public beheading
Sheba Joyce: I'm sure they just take the property back…….and your head
Libertine: Well, that would decrease the amount of defalts

Boxed in

Manny: So, did I tell you I highlighted my hair again Saturday?

Manny: It's very blond. So I've gone full circle I guess

Sheba Joyce: Did you do it yourself?

Manny: Yes...well my friend helped. But ti's from a box.

Manny: No, not TI..he is not from a box..my hair color is though.

Sheba Joyce: TI would like to tell you he's from a box...

Sheba Joyce: then say that's why he should be allowed to shoot you with an AK47.

A solution to nasty child birth

Sheba Joyce: They induced 16 hours ago.
Sheba Joyce: Having babies--for the birds.
Sheba Joyce: Well birds have eggs..
Sheba Joyce: Wouldn't it be funny if humans laid eggs?
Destiny: It would probably be less painful and much less dramatic overall. It would be better if you decided you didn't want it, just pop in the fridge and it's all over.
Sheba Joyce: There ya go..
Sheba Joyce: Or "accidentally" drop it...or just stop sitting on it.
Sheba Joyce: But then all the conservatives would try to dictate how we care for said egg.
Sheba Joyce: Shell control would be outlawed.
Destiny: Think how long maternity leave would last!
Sheba Joyce: No maternity leave....sit on your damn egg at work.
Destiny: We could get jobs as sitters, and the best part - no nursing! No pumping!
Sheba Joyce: That would be an awesome job. "Your job is to sit."
Destiny: I can't go out tonight. I have to sit on some eggs.
Sheba Joyce: I can't get that beer for myself...egg sitting.
Destiny: But you could take the egg to the bar
Sheba Joyce: That's right! You could drink while sitting!
Sheba Joyce: Drinking on the job.
Destiny: MUCH better than child birth.

Momma's, don't let your babies grow up to be writers

Sheba Joyce: Why did we go into humanities?

Manny: Because it's "What i love to do".

Manny: Blech.

Sheba Joyce: I'll never let my kids say that shit.

Manny: I'll be like...but....what about....accounting?? Don't you love that too? or science!!!????

Sheba Joyce: They can be an environmental scientist or something.

Manny: I think what I'll do is as soon as my child comes out of the womb, I'm going to get it a chemistry set and a microscope.

Manny: And then a baby computer and get them into IT.

Manny: And if they write something, I'll say, "Oh this is terrible, better stick to science!"

Sheba Joyce: I told my sister to put a periodic table in the baby's crib.

Manny: And I swear to God if my child ever says they watn to major in Dance, I will disown them.

Will you accept this rose?

Sheba Joyce: So,we didn't get to talk about what you thought of the After the Rose Part Duex.
Manny: Corny.
Sheba Joyce: Indeed.
Manny: I love how they are all like..."Oh, these cameras SUCK, geez, just leave us alone!" When they are the ones who invited the cameras in the first place by being on this show.
Manny: And she's seen him a handful of weekends and has talked on the phone with him...and that's' what constitutes their entire relationship together. Him cheating on her with 24 other women, then dumping her for someone else, and then getting back together and talking on the phone with her for 6 weeks. And we're expected to think they will last.
Sheba Joyce: Well, works for Wayne county girls.
Manny: That's so true and tragic.
Manny: So what are your thoughts?
Sheba Joyce: Well I mean my first thought is why do people want him? He's so unattractive and he comes with a kid--blech.
Sheba Joyce: I mean that's like saying you want to win a new car, but it comes with a hitch and you have tow around a lawnmower if you drive it.
Sheba Joyce: It's a pain in the ass.
Sheba Joyce: Who wants to win a pain in the ass?
Sheba Joyce: And on top of that, he's a cry baby. So now she's won two cry babies.
Manny: Exactly!
Sheba Joyce: Congratulations! You've won two cry babies, a nagging ex-wife and a bitter ex girlfriend.
Manny: And Melissa will move on and find someone else, but if I were molly I'd always be like "you know what....what if he decides he wants to be with somebody else when he's with me?"
Sheba Joyce: yeah. I think it's be awesomer (yes awesomer) if he would have walked out and dumped her.